Passion of Christ

2004/04/06 23:27 / 일기장
저번 주일날 ,부모님을 모시고 여친과 함께, 오후예배를 마친 후 영화관에 갔다. 개봉전부터 많이 기대하고 있던터라, 부모님도 모시고 갔었더랬다...

영화가 상영하는 시간 내내... 온갖 감정들로 인해 마음을 추스를 수 없었다.

주위의 시선을 의식할 겨를도 없이..흐르는 눈물을 주체하지 못했다. 얼마나 서럽게 울었던지, 여친이 손을 꼭 잡아주더라...


예수님을 따라가는 삶...닮아가는 삶...
정말이지 그건 너무 쉽지않은 일임을, 새삼스레 깨닫는다.
머리로는 항상 생각하지만, 가슴으로, 삶으로 소화해 내지 못하는 나의 모습...


수난주간이 돌아올 때마다...
예수님의 고난을 생각하고, 그 고통을 생각하지만,
영화를 보고 난 후 지금은,
나의 감사와 생각의 수준은 너무 약하고, 모자랐으며,
안일했음을 반성하게 한다...



인간으로서..
차라리 죽는것이 나을때도 있다. 사는게 죽느니만 못할때..
그만큼 고통이 심할때 말이다.
나같으면 차라리 죽여달라고 사정이라도 했겠지만..

그러시지도 않고..
묵묵히 그분께 짊어진 사명을 감당하고 가셨다..
예수님..그분은...


gloomy..sadness..emotion..gratitude..




Posted by 꿀맛™.
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